If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
farters have to be the big spoon...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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