the condom got lost in my hair
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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