Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
