i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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