What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
