We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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