we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
