my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Randomize
