I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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