nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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