If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
