I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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