I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
