Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
