Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize
