We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
