I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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