sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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