white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
