Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
