at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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