i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
