ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!�
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
