"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
