Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
