I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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