Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
