His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You took a bar mat shot.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
