I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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