Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Sorry my hands just texted you
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
