So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
