thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
