i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
