Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
My liver just had a heart attack.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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