then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
