i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
