thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
