I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
This is my life. Enjoy the view
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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