You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
