Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
