I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
