Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just gift wrapped bread.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
