Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
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