My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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