i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
