bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
