problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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