Say something about gay babies.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
