if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
My vagina is officially offended.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
