I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
